Self Indulgence
by Aimzmiin25
Summary: A Stendan Fanfic! X Please Review! X
1. Chapter 1

Ste

A Lustrous, Warm hand is pressing against my skin; settled on my waist, crawling over my bare body whilst the other has been placed at the back of my head as he kisses me fast yet slow but passionately. He reaches for the zipper of his extravagantly expensive black trousers which must be new considering I have never seen him wear them before, once he has token them off after quite a struggle he throws them swiftly onto the floor and gets back into position.

I figure that if he took some of his clothing I could at least do the same. So I start to unbutton my baby blue polo for him to jerk over my head and to trail his finger tips over my chest, pushing them forward as he remains to kiss me but then lifts himself up, looking directly into my eyes.

He then gradually starts to move himself below until he finds himself the perfect spot beside my cock in which he can suck. He begins at a mild pace but then unleashes the true Brendan Brady. Fast, wild and tingling just how I like it!

Oh God, that luminous white light is shining vividly in my eyes.

"Ste" The sound of Noah's abrupt tone startled me. "Wake up sleepy head" he says with a big cheery grin on his face.

"Yh..." I reply not knowing what else to say. He then leaves, I assume he realises how tired and strained I must feel from the expression in my voice. What just Happened? Was I dreaming? It felt, looked, sounded, smelt and even tasted real. That's all 5 of my senses. It's also the 5th time I've dreamt of him this week. I need to stop this now! I Love Noah not Brendan but there is something binding me with Brendan, a connection if you will. He has seriously got me going Crazy. I swear I'm going to end up in Cornhill soon.

Sudden Vibrations come from my front pocket.

"Who's that from?" Noah asks as if he's trying to interrogate me, pick into my brain!

"Just work." Genuinely it's not like I'm lying to him. It is from work, Just from Brendan that's all! It's always from Brendan!

"Warren wants me to work an Extra shift tonight" I had to say that so he doesn't get suspicious although he looks at me as if I am some sort of ignorant phony. I'm not intending to feed him any lies but I know how much he despises Brendan, He literally hates his guts. He would go ballistic if he found out I still talked to him but I have to I mean he is my boss! I can't ignore him, it's quite impossible.

I could about this the whole day but both my rusty old watch and the Blinding deep orange clock which I believe Amy bought from Argos ( only because it was on sale for a tenner ) tell me it's time to head to work.

I hold onto the arms of the side chair to pull myself up from the vintage form. Noah is sitting on the settee opposite me; legs sprawled, only wearing boxers way to tight, those big brown eyes staring into the TV. I go over to kiss him goodbye so I give a peck on the lips and tell him goodbye. Jeremy Kyle's on so he barely reacts. As I walk out the front door from behind I can hear him shout " love you" I walk out the door, what am I suppose to say to that "oh yeah I love you to but only as a friend, my true love is Brendan, I can never stop loving Brendan. I am totally and irrevocably in love with Brendan Brady. Oh by the way just thought you should know I've been using you the past couple months to make him jealous, to show him much he really does love me and to get my life back on track! But he used to beat me up because he is gay himself but won't admit it so took it out on me which is why I'm safer with you and am going to stay with you, Thank you" From that I would be confused for a bad person which I am also from that you can bluntly see that I still want to be with Brendan because I fucking love the guy! God, I am so confused! I can almost smell the confusion in the air! I need to figure this out!

It's either Brendan or Noah!

Noah; Caring, Loving, Openly gay which is a bonus, beautifully big brown eyes; not afraid to be himself, loyal, compassionate, a delightful smile, just a perky person overall.

Then Brendan; Dangerous, Cocky, psychotic, bold, bitter, Sometimes scary and cold hearted but then again he is the most affectionate, Cheekiest which for some reason I actually like, tender, protective, Devoted, warm person you could ever meet and he's good with kids which I can't say the same for Noah.

Whoever should I choose?

Whoa...

"Ouch" You may not have noticed but I just fell! "Mother fucker" And yes it hurt like hell. Mustn't have been looking where I was going or something. All I know is that I landed in front of chezchez.

"Have a nice trip?" There's that voice again. Deep, beautiful Irish voice. I turn my head to the side so I can look him in the eyes.

"Stephen" he says. Oh god that voice. That beautiful fucking sexy voice, half the time I may not understand a word he says but damn that is one hell of a sexy voice.

*cough* "Brendan" Oh shit how embarrassing I coughed.

He laughs a bit before he grabs onto my arm to help me up. What a squeeze he gives my arm, his hand is remarkably crushing against my arm.

"Are you alright?" He says bending down a little so his face can get in level with mine.

"Yh" I reply in full confidence.

"Good" He says still bent down and remaining to stare into my eyes. I'm gazing back into them, I can't help it. He seems like he's happy today, really happy yet a tad worried. What's happened to make him look so little worried? More importantly what's made him look this happy? Has he found someone else? A new guy for him to fool around with, has he forgotten all about what I and he had? I hope not! Or maybe just maybe he's in a cheery mood this morning and if so why? Well I wouldn't find out even if I tried, he never opens up to me about anything apart from any drug dealings or his latest instalment of Warren's life.

God, I must be pathetic! I got all that just by looking into his eyes, I know now that there is something terribly wrong with me! I have fallen deeply for Brendan Brady!

He clears his throat and straightens himself and his suit.

"Glasses need cleaned inside" He tells me trying to act as cool as possible. Chewing away like a cow would when gorging one's food meaning grass for a cow. I think.

I can tell he's uncomfortable with everyone around us seeing our little staring moment back then.

It's not like anything actually happened! Everyone already knows he's gay!

I'm quite angry now, so I brush past him and almost run up the chezchez stairs. As if I'm striding.

He follows after me taking the hint. He calls after me but warren's there and he doesn't want to start anything especially with him in the room.

I don't think I could have put up with it anyway! Another fight! We've had too many!

The thing really bugs me is that no matter how many times we fight, shout at each other from the top of our lungs. I always end up back in his bed, in a warm, strong tight embrace with him.

It's as if he has some sort of control over me!

He makes me incredibly angry sometimes yet I always end up fucking him breathless afterwards.

He remains in my heart always! No matter what! And I don't know how.

Maybe we are supposed to be together! Maybe! I mean are we?

*Lady gaga – Born this way*

The music is blaring, the club is packed, some guys are trying to get laid, chez is dancing, warrens in a strop, and Rhys is snogging Jacqui and Brendan's locked himself in the office.

Just another normal day at chezchez!

"Hey Love!" Chez says parading over to the bar, half drunk. Wearing a hell of a tight boob – tube dress, multi – coloured and up to her ass, Neon pink tights and platform heels which I imagine she can't walk in due to the fact she's wobbling from side to side and can't even walk in a straight line. Although that could possibly be because of how drowsy and wasted she is.

"Chez, what can I get you?"

"A life for my brother!" she must have found herself funny by the horrid snort that she gave after she had said that. I look at her with a serious face on, well my attempt of a serious face.

"Just joking love, I'll have a martini" with a Beaming smile on her face.

I go get the equipment needed for her martini.

"You know he does care for you, Ste?" asking in a manner which would seem if she was some sort of cupid. Trying to get me and him together!

I pass her the martini very sleekly then make a move over to some punters needing served! I really can't put up with this right now!

She must have taken the hint much like Brendan earlier when she heads back to the dance floor; swinging her hips to the music, giving her hair a swish, shaking her ass and leaping up and down so her tits are on show.

The music is extremely loud, literally piercing. I can barely hear anything else.

All I can see is drunken idiots attempting to dance, girls flaunting their stuff of which the boys are intrigued by, lots of sexual affections being displayed and colours of blue, red, yellow, green, purple etc. ,Dazzling into my eyes.

And then there's the office door. I peer into, thinking of all the possible things that Brendan may be attaining to. I stare quite deep into it.

"Can I get a drink over here?" How rude? Well it is Doug! And right now I guess he's going through a hard time. His Girlfriend, I mean love has just been murdered by an unknown psychopath leaving a trail of dead girls in the woods. He looks depressed, like he hasn't had a shower in a few days, weeks even. I feel sorry for him! If I lost my love then...

I'm not even going to finish that sentence.

"Umm, yh sorry... I must have been staring into space again" I gave a little laugh at the end which I regret. "So, what will it be?" changing the subject.

"Just another beer thanks" He raises his eyebrows as soon as he finishes the sentence. Either he wants me to hurry so he can get back to his mates apart from Noah, he's been called off to Cindy's for some sort of emergency or He just can't put up with life anymore.

I don't want to seem nosy, so I grab a beer pass it to him and keep my mouth shut and my nose out!

He just stays there; at the bar, looking at his beer with full dismay only taking little sips at a time, he has bags under his eyes making me think that he mustn't have had a good night's sleep in a while.

He looks up at me, he notices me staring back at him.

"Don't..." He pauses; he must find it difficult to say. I can almost see a tear away to run down his cheek. "Don't say sorry!" He blurts out. "Please"

"Wasn't going to" I reassure him in the best way I can.

"Why not, everyone else has" He has that look on his face as if he's being sarcastic but he's not.

"It's your business no one else's" replying in a way that I hope can make him feel better.

"Tell everyone else that" He looks back down at his bottle but instead this time he takes a huge gulp then places the bottle back on the table.

"Tell me Ste" I look up at him thinking of all the things he could say." Have you ever been in love, fallen so hard you don't ever want to get up again, kept an open space in your heart for them, loving every bone, every limb, and every organ, just everything about them! , To have it taken away from you so easily" He tells me this with a fair bit of tears running down his face at a mild speed.

You can imagine who I am thinking of right now! Every word he just said!

I answer each of those questions in my head one by one.

Yes I have been in love, yes so I don't want to get up again, yes there is always a space in my heart for him, I do love his strong healthy bones, each and every limb, every organ, Everything and no I have never had it token away from me apart from when I push him away or the other way round but no I don't want to lose him! , Never, ever, ever.

"Trust me, you don't want to" He carries on. Looking me in the eyes! , His ice blue eyes glowing into mine.

"Oi Doug", Riley shouts from behind him.

He gives him a look and a nod, Must be his way of telling him that he'll be there in a minute.

He looks back at me, there go those eyes again, picks up his beer from the counter and then finally leaves.

It seems Doug's taught me something new today. You never know what you've got till you lose it.

Huh, a new tip for Brendan I'd say.

I slam the door and shove my body thought it. God, I am so tired!

As soon as I walk into the Living room, Noah approaches his body standing right in front of me.

"How was work?" That cheery smile back again, with his teeth as well.

"The usual" replying to his question with a yawn as I am fucking tired!

He picks up on that because he kisses me on the lips gently and leads me to the bedroom.

He starts to undress himself but I am too tired. Especially for sex!

He sits himself on top of me but I push him off, close my eyes and go to sleep.

Let's hope I don't get any more of my Brendan fantasies! That'll be the 6th time!

**Thank you for reading! **

**This is my first ever fan fiction and I hope and pray I did it well and that you enjoy it!**

**I'm currently thinking of righting more to this story, so will see what happens!**

**If you could post a review on what you thought of the story, liked/disliked about it then I'd really appreciate. Or if you would like to tell me of what you would like to see in the next chapters to come, Thx.**


	2. Chapter 2

Brendan

Looking down at the superb breakfast Cheryl had cooked up; Fried egg with a runny yolk centre, Sausages brown and slightly burnt, both white and black pudding and sizzling bacon. All cooked to perfection, almost, A full Irish breakfast, without the tomatoes, never really liked the taste.

Looking at it all, for once I don't really feel hungry.

Haven't been eating properly in a while, which is strange because I adore my food!

A slight humming noise comes from beside me, Cheryl just returned from her shower. Her hair is wrapped up in a towel as is her... well you know. She made me breakfast before she headed to the shower. Just thought I'd mention before anyone gets confused.

Anyways I haven't got the slightest clue what she happens to be humming, but one thing's for sure, that it can get on one's nerves, One being me.

She walks over to the kettle, switches it on and hops over to the table. She sits across from me, now I feel under pressure.

"Guess who I talked to yesterday" She bursts out with a smile up to her ears. "Well kind of" she adds.

"Hmm... Homer Simpson has been released from the animated world and you two have been comparing Dieting notes" When I say dieting notes I make sure to say it in a feminine way. I don't know why, it just sort of came to me like a bullet to the chest.

"Ha-ha Brendan Charles Brady You are so Funny" Chez and her sarcastic ways again.

"Aren't I just" I raise my eyebrows to give effect. And dig into the sausages like some sort of wild animal.

She laughs for a moment "and no! I ran into Ste" The smile has been removed from her face.

"Did ya now?" I then pick up my knife and fork and neatly cut the whites of my eggs and ram them down my throat, swallowing at intense speed.

"Yh and much like you, he seemed pretty miserable"

"Uhu, Did he?" I get up and go through to the kitchen to get myself a cool drink of water from the tap.

"Yes He did" She follows after. I get my drink and suddenly I'm feeling cornered.

"Ok what's your point sis" I have reached the table to take a sip of my drink and tuck back into my meal. Chez is away to follow after me again but a sudden ping comes from the kettle so she goes over to attend to it.

"My point is..." She tries to finish her sentence but first she needs to find a decent mug to pour the boiling water in for her cup `o` Tea. When I mean decent I mean a cup that has been washed properly and clean enough for chez's standards.

She takes her time which is presumably why I am getting impatient. Whatever she has to say I wish she would just say already.

I still chew into my food as I wait.

She finishes stirring her milk into the tea and walks over to the table in which she says.

"My point is that" She takes a sip of her tea, from the look of it, it's pretty hot." That your miserable and Ste is Miserable that maybe you and him should make up" I liked how she put so much emphasis on `your` and `is` in that sentence.

"Make up?" I ask although I know exactly what she means.

"Yh make up as in get back together" It took her a while to say that but she finally spit it out.

"I know what you meant chez I'm not stupid but even if I wanted to, which I fucking well do. I couldn't ask him out or whatever because of..."

She interrupts me "Noah"

I hesitate for a second, Just hearing his name makes me want to get up and throw things.

"Yh him" The Fucking Twat!

"Noah means nothing to Ste, ya know that right?" Batting her eyelashes at me,

"I guess" I don't know what to say, I mean I do know that Noah is just a third wheel or a fake or a whatever ya call it but he isn't going to give up on his perfect life with Noah to come crawling back to me! Not after everything I've done to him!

"So go for it" Putting a hand on mine.

"I'll try" I get up to put my plate and cutlery in the sink, ready to clean later. "I'll try" I say again to reassure her that I will.

Then grab my coat from the hook and head out the front door, I make sure to look back at chez before I do so. To make sure that she has a beaming smile on her face again.

Now to find Stephen!

As I thought, Stephen was in relish biting down on what seems to be bacon butty.

He is looking fit at the moment. As he always does!

I'm not going to lie to you I am smitten, though I would never show it.

He's at one of the table's alone, so I make my way and sit down across from him whether he likes it or not.

He looks annoyed by the way he rolls his eyes and gets up to leave.

"Sit" I ask him yet he's having none of him. "Please" I ask a bit more calm and polite then before.

So he sits; arms folded, that agitated face, his marvellous blue eyes which I often admire, lips closed shut, Blonde hair neatly brushed and a slight grimace.

An Awkward Silence lasting about 8 – 10 minutes has been interrupted when Stephen asks:

"What dy'a wants Brendan?" Oh God I love the way he says my name, in that cute Yorkshire Accent.

"I want many things Stephen" I haven't finished yet, but it just got me thinking of all the things I actually do want; My sister to be happy, To make sure no one finds out the truth to Danny's murder meaning who killed him, chezchez I suppose, money, Warren destroyed, Noah to leave and never come back and more but most importantly Stephen! Stephen is what I want! More than anything!

Enough of that! He bites in to that glorious butty, licking his lips before he does so, that is one hell of a lucky bacon butty!

"But I am here to ask" Holy shit I'm speechless, what the fuck do I say, Oh god help me out here!

He's staring at me, gazing into my eyes. "Ask ya know" I clear my throat, "ya know" I stare back at him this time, "if... if ya would like to maybe, possibly go out with me sometime!" He looks confused, twitched nose and a raised eyebrow.

I probably sound like an idiot; I cough a few times before saying:

"Ya know only... only if ya want to" adding on Laidback, casual and cool.

He bursts out laughing, people start to stare, why's he laughing? Is there something on my face or something?

"I'm Sorry it's just..." He can't even keep a straight face.

He clears his throat and puts on a screwed up face, trying to act normal, usual.

"It's just funny... are you asking me out on a date?" He laughs for a few seconds then stops but I can tell he still finds it Amusing.

"Yh I am"

He must be shocked.

"Seriously?" Screwing up his face again, does he still not get it?

"Yes, Seriously" I answer, moving closer.

He is silent. He keep's opening his mouth as if he is going to imply something but he never does.

It's as if he refuses his ability of speech. He's just sat there staring down at his hand's, passing his phone onto his palms hand by hand, twitching his nose now and then, biting his lips at places, looking up at any passersby, His eyes following there steps and any movement made.

Well this is quite boring!

"Ya going to say something" me asking promptly,

He looks into my eyes, then rests his head back onto the red, comfy, cushiony fabric and places his hands gently on his face.

He soon slides them down his face, past his cheeks. He takes another bite out of frustration.

"Yh" He finally replies,

"Is that a yes to the..." God this is hard to say, that word! "...Date?"

"What? No... I meant yh to the... Never mind!" well that's disappointing.

"Ya know I can't Brendan, I'm with Noah now." He looks hurt when he says this.

"Yh, I know" I raise my eyebrows so he can take the hint that I am not too happy about that.

His phone then starts to vibrate in his sweaty palms. It must be a text.

"I got to go" He tells me in such an awkward tone. "See ya later" He gets up taking his butty in his hand.

"Yh... sure... see ya" Following his eyes as he leaves.

Ugh, I bang my head off the table of Annoyance.

"Ow!"

*Katy Perry – Last Friday (t.g.i.f)*

What song is this? I don't know, but it seems to be popular with the punters.

Huh? What to do? What to do?

I'm getting bored again; I start to tap my fingers constantly! Stephen got me into that! The bastard! I call him that in a nice, cheeky, Humorous way of course.

I've only been out of the office 5 minutes and I'm already bored senseless, plus the music is getting on my nerves, doing my head in.

I head back in the office.

Nothing interesting happening out there anyway,

I sit in the seat, and think of all the things that have happened in this office.

The good and the bad!

My fights/ bickers with warren, my drug schemes, the havocs, the threats, The laughs I have now and then, the... well sexual feelings being revealed, thinking of sexual feelings; the sex, the sweaty, outrageous, horny sex! There are so much more words on how to describe the sex, so much more!

But I'm not going to bore you with all the details.

Well since I have nothing else to do, I might as well plan next week's rota.

If I put Jacqui and Rhys together than there's going to be no work accomplished,

If I put Cheryl and warren together than mitzeee's going to turn up to visit warren and Cheryl won't be too happy about that, wouldn't want another fight between those two! Especially by how physical they become,

If I plant me and Stephen together than, well usually fucking, banging and any other words that have to do with sex or sucking for that matter are involved.

And a hell of a lot of smacking, as in smacking of the lips!

However recently my conversations with the precious Stephen have began sophistic, naturally yet confined in a clash of which one of us end up broken and hurt, sometimes even both.

I believe to imagine that I have chosen a rota which would be of greatness to each member of staff.

By which I have made similar times to me and Stephen's, just because I said we might not get along doesn't mean I'm not planning on working things out with him.

Maybe, just maybe if he spends some individual time with me, his ancient feelings as he calls them might come sprinting back.

Three taps come from the door, slowly, one by one

"Come in" I try to act engrossed with my work so whoever it is may leave faster.

"Brendan Brady" Dodger!

He walks in confidently, arms hanging loose, making himself comfortable on the edge of my desk where he plants his backside on.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" My face claims a sarcastic smile at this point.

"Hmmh..." He laughs, tensing his muscular arms. God I hate his laugh.

"Well I was having a nice, little think to myself, the other day, when it just so happened to cross my mind that after the work I had done for you, in never really cashed in the dough" He rubs his thumb over his four touching fingers.

Hmm... I tilt my head to the right, preparing a reply.

"Umm... about that" I mumble to a volume of which I expect him to hear.

I am stuttering so many times, the words are tangled in my tongue; they just can't seem to escape, they're lost.

"I aren't getting my money, am I?"

He answered his question for me.

"Yh, ya could put it that way" I get stuck into my work, well not really but he doesn't need to know that.

Disappointed, I can read that from his face. He is making his way for the door but just as the tips of his fingers linger over the door knob, he turns back and almost yells at me.

"I earned that money, I deserve it!"

"Oh yh, and what would you have done with the money anyway?" I look at him, moving my head from side to side, eyes wide open waiting for his answer/s!

"Well first maybe buy a new place to crash in, then a new watch due to the fucking technical hitches I'm having with this daft, old thing and then some new gear to impress the ladies with!" His eyes twinkled at the word ladies as his face lit up at the same extent.

Now I'm just stood there wondering what in god's name he's blabbing on about, not paying any attention to him.

"Now to a fit bloke like me those things are pretty important!" Really?

"Especially Ways to impress the ladies" He smiles to himself.

His face changes in a more serious, grim way for the next words he speaks.

"Not that you'd have to worry about that" He shows a sudden laugh, raising his eyebrows.

"Hah, Hah" I point to him, my sarcastic laugh is on show "That's real funny, hah" I pretend to calm myself down.

I get off my chair and make a dive for him; face as red as ever, Eyes in full rage, The vein as Stephen calls it has popped up again, pressing my chest surface off his.

"Ya might wanna watch that mouth of yours, old roger dodger" It's kind of my name for him; I've kind of grown to it.

"Or what? Is Brenda gonna get angry?" he crinkles his nose when he says Brenda, being the smug ass which he is.

Brenda, seriously, the cheek of him!

My fist is up in the air ready to aim, wipe off that sudden smirk on his face, what a dick?

He sees my fist fling up out of nowhere, his smirk fades and he soon backs off.

"Whoa, Whoa now! We wouldn't want to be doing that now would we?"

"I mean have you seen all this?" he runs both his index fingers of each hand down his body very rapidly , The cocky bastard, well who am I to talk, I was much like him myself when I was younger.

Handsome, A bit full of myself, always getting in trouble, wringing in the ladies except for me I was wringing in the lads.

I calm down!

I remove my fists from the air, take a deep breath!

"You have 10 seconds to leave before I get really angry" I whisper in his ear.

"What about my money?"

"10 SECONDS!" I shout from my lungs, my throat is getting itchy.

He leaves brushing past my unexpected guest.

I take a look up.

"Stephen, and what can I do for you" I tilt my head to the side and my eyeballs take a fondness to his body, looking him up and down.

"Brendan, I was wandering if there was any extra shifts going around?" Is he using some sort of weepy look, he has the puppy dog eyes out, and his hands are lay in his pocket.

"And why would ya want extra shifts"

"No reason"

"Stephen" I blast at him, I can tell when he's lying!

"Ok, Money's been pretty tight" He adds in, takes his time mind you.

"Why didn't ya say, I could have helped ya out"

"No, I'm not some sort of charity case, ok!" he's angry again.

"Ok, ok and I know that"

I literally leap off my chair and walk over, with a masculine vibe, place my gentle hands on his shoulder pads.

"But..." we are gazing into each other's eyes again, I don't know how it's as if there connected, though the gazing is short lived.

"No! No buts, Can you just give me the shifts so I can leave" he shifts back; my hands fall down to my side.

"Yh, sure" I constantly nod, I'm not going to argue with him, if I offered him the money again he would have said no, the little fucker, right!

"Thanks" he mumbles "I really appreciate it" He walks out.

And I'm sat back on my chair again.

Well this has been a long day!


	3. Chapter 3

Well, here we go!

Another dull night in chezchez! You would think that they would give me a civil break now and then!

But I can't, I need the money!

Me and Amy are struggling to gather in the money at the moment; Amy's continuing to work extra hard at the school not to mention she is advertising for her new babysitting campaign (it's not really a campaign but still) and I am working extra shifts at the club as I just asked Brendan if he could spare me any like 5 minutes ago.

To be honest I'm still pretty angry with him.

I've been treated like dirt my whole life by many different people, beaten to a pulp numerous times, looked at as if I'm some sort of worthless piece of shit, unaccepted by everyone, looked down at my whole entire life.

I won't lie; I did deserve some of it.

Back to the point, so Ames and I are having money problems!

I asked Brendan for extra shifts!

He basically offered me money!

I'm not a charity case!

I'm furious with him!

You get the drift right?

My fingers are gently tapping off the bar in a soundproof way, I'm bored, had a lot to drink and slightly horny. So I'm thinking of something to do, literally ;)! Jokes, but complication has struck me and his relationship. Noah that is!

I know I'm with Noah but he's becoming too clingy, obsessive and somewhat self centred.

And he isn't the best of kissers; guess I can blame his teeth for that, although his lips are shaped in a weird, distinct way.

I need to stop with the booze; it's time for me to calm down the drink.

I could seriously fuck any person in this room, which is really sick if you have seen half the crowd here tonight. Ugly as fuck, But I am horny, my dick is screaming for a good time.

That person right there, that person who just revealed all those grimly details to you that is... wait for it ladies and gentlemen... Drunken Ste!

I made a commitment to Noah which is the dreadful reason why I can't go further with any man or woman that I encounter tonight.

I say women because although I may be attracted to men nowadays I still feel attached to women. Sexy women of course, plus if I happen to come across the page 3 girl in the star then yh why wouldn't I have the hots for her.

I've been yapping on about stupid, meaningless things that I haven't noticed that Brendan has been alongside me; nice charcoal black suit, beautiful eyes drawn to mine, smoothing his moustache at every opportunity he gets, stood up straight, acting as intelligent as he can.

We had started off a normal conversation

"Hey"

"Hey"

"How are you?"

"I'm good you?"

"I'm alright"

His voice was tender and quite low.

After that indeed small conversation, things went downhill in appose to an awkward silence for each of us.

Bent over the bar, cracking each individual knuckle. He knows I can't stand the noise, the crack and clicking noise, I get a shiver down my back the noise is revolting, irritating and disturbing.

He is doing this on purpose, to annoy me, he is succeeding.

"Could you stop that" I blast at him, as if I am gently whispering to him yet I am roaring at him in a tone so which only he can hear.

He stands up straight again, drops his hands down to his side, looks at me with his stunning blue eyes, glares into my eyes, connecting, then bends down at the bar again, hands together, remaining to look at me, and then cracks his fingers and looks away.

He eventually stops the cracking of his fingers which I am 100% percent glad about.

"So how's Noah?" His face refuses to let his eyes turn to look towards me when he says this.

"He's fine" I nod and raise my eyebrows to a decent height, why would he ask that?

"Good" Fast and delicate, "Gooooooooood" Slow and possibly agitated.

He walks back into his office, in full swagger, he seems to live in there he's never out of it.

I imagine that I could have annoyed him or maybe, possibly, slightly, just a little bit, might have upset him! Or he's is just in another mood.

I go after him, nearly running.

I reach the office door and close it behind me.

Faced up against the mirror, chewing on that minty fresh gum, combing his moustache thoroughly, admiring what he calls his 'Good looks'.

"Listen, Brendan I think we need to talk" I don't want to start anything to heavy towards him. Saying that I mean an argument or something involving punches being thrown, punches being thrown towards me of course!

"About?" He tilts his head to the side as Brendan would!

"You know what" I take a deep breath; I never thought that I would bring myself to have this conversation with him.

"Please explain, Stephen" his voice is soothing.

"You know, Noah, Me, You, And Us!" He stops me after us.

I could have gone on and on, even repeating myself.

The conversation which lead was chilling, sexy, powerful, passionate and in a way heartbreaking!

And even love was spoken of!

You'll find out soon!

I'll leave Brendan to enlighten you!


	4. Chapter 4

"You know, Noah, Me, You, and Us" He says whilst his fingers tend to fiddle with each other.

"Huh" I tilt my head, ready to embrace his words.

Stephen is looking as sexy as ever tonight; Hair brushed back and shaped up sophistically, eyes beaming, in chezchez costume as per usual, his soft, lush lips pressing against one another, his tongue smoothly swaying over each lip of which turns me on, his shoulders are slightly bent and that Adams apple of his is in action again as he swallows occasionally yet rapidly.

We gaze into each other for a split second.

"Well Firstly..." He takes a deep breath in. I don't know why, maybe he thinks I will hurt him again. " Your Jealousy" His fingers find them self attracted to each other again when they begin to fiddle.

I push myself off the office chair with full enthusiasm; I lock the door so no one can listen in on this conversation.

I face myself towards him and say "I am not jealous" Slowly, word by word whilst rubbing my finger against my ear like some sort of animal.

"Yes, You are why won't you just admit it" He stutters a bit even if he is shouting.

"I am not jealous" I repeat still slowly, word by word.

He slaps his hands off his cheekbones. "I give up!" He shakes his head.

I refuse myself to answer.

"Why can't you just be honest with yourself" He bursts.

I won't lie that hurt in a way, it really did. I can feel myself saddening.

"Fine" He says like he is whispering into my ear. He heads for the door but I won't let him leave, I can't.

Out of nowhere my hand slams against the door forcing him to stay.

I am not looking at him at this point.

"Let me go" There is a slight croak in his throat. He looks at me, our eyes in different directions.

"I can't" Our eyes now meeting.

I take his words the wrong way! 'Let me go' I can't let him go! He is everything.

He backs away; I can tell he's uncomfortable.

"Why" His hands have stopped the tangled web they got caught in with each other.

He puzzles me.

"What?" My legs are uncontrollably stepping towards him.

"Why can't you" He turns around causing me to take in a large whiff of his precious deodorant, Lynx his favourite. "Let me go" he carries on.

I know what he is trying to do, He wants me to say those three words, and I'm not ready.

"Because..." I smooth my moustache to help myself to think.

His lips are pouting in a sexy way but he doesn't knowing he's doing it.

"Ya love me"

I have no other reaction to give so I tend to laugh instead, Just a short giggle though.

"Why else would ya kill Danny Houston for me?"

My laugh is short lived.

My head is killing me! So much memories flooding through my head! I can't take it!

"Shut up Stephen Please" I close my eyes, my fist are clenching but I don't want to hurt him, I love him although I'd never tell him that.

"Yh, Face it ya do love me because ya killed Danny and ya hate seeing me with someone else and "I push him fiercely against the office wall, I can hear a grunt and suddenly my clenched fist is flying through the air. I can feel something hard bang off it.

Luckily as I had hoped my fist had hit off the wall at a short distance from Stephen's face.

He's breathing in and out rapidly, repeating in and out as some sort of sequence. I have gotten so use to it, it's like some new pop beat. His Eyes shut!

Our chests are touching.

He looks in pain, mentally not physically.

He looks amazing; I can't help but touch him, feel him, kiss him. His presence is magical.

He opens his eyes for them to wander deeply into mine.

I loosen my grapple to take both my hands and pursue them to grab hold of the back of his soft neck; I then make room for my thumbs to smooth over his plump lips.

A sudden tear makes its way from his red watery eyes to his gentle cheek.

I drag him from the wall closer to my body in the middle of the room.

His efforts to escape are impossible.

Our embrace is too strong, I made sure of that.

He looks from my neck to my eyes simultaneously.

"Sorry" He chokes struggling.

I can't believe I brought him to say that.

He grabs onto my warm sweaty hands yanking them off him.

The noise after his tongue hits off his top gum is provocative.

His phone is spread on the floor.

It must have plunged on the floor when I pushed him up against the surface closest to his back; I have only now noticed when it begins to vibrate.

He reaches for the mobile, bending down showing off an exquisite piece of ass.

I tilt my head both to get a better view and to admire the delicious ass which god had made

The show has finished when he bends back to position; stood straight, shoulders bent and looking intensely seductive.

He has just declined the call not letting on or giving any clues to who it was but I'm guessing Noah, as per usual.

I use my 5 senses to describe the moment.

Touch: my hands are ruffling in my trouser pockets searching for more gum to pleasure myself with.

Hearing: The club's extremely loud music *pitbull – give me everything* and the clamping of hells off the dance floor. Apart from that nothing, it's silent, No talking at all!

Sight: A half messed up office and a beautiful Stephen standing in front of me, a few steps apart.

Smell: As I said earlier Stephens Glorious Lynx Deodorant.

Taste: Nothing but I would kill to have Stephen in me right now. I already have to be honest.

I would describe the rest but out of nowhere Stephen grabs onto me smashing his lips against mine.

He is putting pressure on his body to bang off myself.

His tongue is literally locked inside my mouth, indicating that he is horny, drunk or just plainly wants me.

He is forcing himself on me but I don't want it to be like this.

He unbuttons my shirt hasty, speedy and cumbersomely.

I haven't had sex in ages, almost months even. I am as hard as ever, rock solid.

I slide both my index fingers down the inside of his trousers, pulling him closer to me.

I unbutton his top trouser button with my delicate thumbs whilst doing this the remaining fingers strokes his crotch lightly.

Once unbuttoned I then forcefully unzip his trousers but holding them in place so that they stay up yet I can still have space to get to his boxers and insert my cock where needed.

Our lips are still attached in each other's mouths going absolutely crazy; our lips are placed at different angles yanking at the others.

I bite his lip gently and pull it towards me as I know for a strange reason he seems to adore it.

I allocate his trousers so behind him they are positioned at the base of his ass.

My shirt has been fully demolished after his tugging to rip it off.

I push my left hand down his boxers; He grunts silently, I find it extremely easy to get into his boxers as he prefers to wear the stretchy elastic baggy type boxers instead of the tight buttoned boxers like I wear.

He grabs my hand from among his boxers, scratching me whilst doing so.

I push him opposing the wall though a lot more smoothly and freely this time as though I'm not going to lash out.

He grips my smart black jeans jerking me towards him vigorously.

I pull his chezchez hoodie off and yank his shirt upon his head, then going back to this long lasting snog which we had started.

My hand detects his body; rubbing, soothing, brushing, comforting, tickling his body gingerly.

He hitches my trousers off completely being unfair considering I let him keep his left on.

Our long passionate kiss is surviving.

As I said before me and him wear completely different boxers, clothing in general but let's talk boxers and how he almost tear them halfway down my ass.

Our kiss is on pause when he looks me through, basically naked as if he is inspecting me and I'm waiting for my answer.

He must approve when he jerks me back in to him, Lips connecting for another time, and our cocks have just met at this moment; familiarizing each other, submitting the other, preceding where they left off.

Stephen being new to the gay culture as some would say even though I'm not gay, wait I'll rephrase that, even though I don't want to be gay.

Like I was saying Stephen being new to the gay culture as some would say, still struggles with the different way that we have sex, don't get me wrong he is amazing in bed, truly amazing and he can give you one hell of an orgasm, he is some sort of sex god, better than any one I've ever slept with, But what I was meaning was that he pants and grunts and groans, exclaiming very loudly. Occasionally I think he isn't coping with it though maybe that's just how he performs.

Back to business, Stephen is spread across the wall, me pushing into him showing him what he is missing.

He pushes against me too, slower.

He isn't usually this timid or shy.

I try my truly hardest to restrain myself from the orgasm away to follow but it is too big to shove away.

I almost roar of pleasure but remember to myself that there is a club full of people in the other room.

Stephen is fondly sliding down the wall very sneakily and gradually, I see this so I grab onto his legs and lift him onto me folding his legs round me.

I have been banging my cock into his at an accelerated pace this whole process but have to stop so I can walk over to the desk ( him still wrapped around me), Shift every single object off being able to stretch him over the table, half naked then climb on him.

My boxers have now slid down to my knees unlike Stephens which have held them self to the bottom of his ass, where I placed them in the first place.

When I said before that I had been shagging him at an accelerated pace, well forget that I am now shagging him at an even faster pace than before.

I can't tell if he likes it or not, for 1 specific reason: he is grunting harder than before and I can't tell if he likes it or not.

I am unsure if he is grunting as I am giving him a deliberate orgy or if he is grunting because he is in dreaded pain.

I don't know why but Stephen rarely gets orgasm, I always think I am not enough for him, he reassures me though.

All this pleasure and anticipated excitement has left me blind to a fact that we have no use of a condom.

My motto in the game of sex is always to be safe, Stephen laughs at this sometimes but I get him back with one of the old Brady moves, you may have seen me use it on warren at a time when we were violently fighting across the village, but when used on Stephen I make it more playful.

I drag myself off Stephen unwanted, Almost running over to my jacket to reach a condom out the blasted long pockets.

Stephen uses his elbows to push himself up to try read me, sense what I am doing.

I finally find a condom; rush over to Stephen, away to place it on.

Stephen acts annoyed in a funny way; raising one eyebrow and falling backwards.

Away to place it roughly on my cock, he grabs it from my hand and throws it the other side of the room.

He slides down from the table, his face is opposite my cock, Oh no!

His mouth absorbs me, smoothing my cock over.

His head is rocking as if it is one of those cheesy bobble head thingies.

"Stephen" I say in a sharp tone.

Now I'm the one panting, Breathing in and out like I have almost drowned.

He forces himself back to spit any remains, his hand wipes over his mouth.

And he is pleasuring me again.

This may take a while!

We are both lay on top of each other (yes, which sounds impossible).

We are on the floor; my back against the desk, Head tilted back, Stephen is lay on top of me, His head against my check, He is gently sleeping as cute as ever, We are both bare apart from the boxers Stephen planted on fully and silently ( I just noticed).

I rub his hair with my fingers brushing though each strand soothingly.

I swallow abruptly; admiring his face like a chubby kid admires his fattening pie.

My lips are dry so I run my tongue over the top lip then leading to the bottom.

Stephen is still lying there; His left skimpy arm has found comfort over my stomach like it doesn't want to be moved, his breathing is calming, he is fidgeting quite often trying to find abundance, His chest is bobbing up and down tenderly, His hair is a mess but I guess you can blame me for that, He looks so sweet when he's sleeping.

I take in another whiff of his deodorant, as fresh as ever.

He coughs a petite hiccup, falling back to sleep again.

That made me laughs a smile.

I kiss his head softly, my lips pressing against his Blonde – Brunette hair, a slight peck.

I raise my head from my cheesy cheep kiss and stroke his hair fondly again.

There are too many words to describe how he looks right now; Fragile, Delicate, Delicious, Sexy, Frail, subtle, pale, superior, tender, exquisite, sensual, HOT!, voluptuous, luscious, appealing, Fuckworthy, enticing, tidy, like I said too many words.

A Sharp beeping noise comes from above me, this alarms Stephen I can tell by the way he jumped up, and Eyes wide open to the sound of it.

I laugh a smile again.

He places his head in his hands, groaning and not in a sexual way.

I choose to ignore it, probably Cheryl asking a stupid question for me to answer.

I compel him back on top of me; he shrugs but soon responds by positioning himself as he was before.

We are lay there, holding each other, this is me showing him I love him.

I can't bring myself to say those words, Men don't do that not to another man, it's not right.

If I won't say it, then I try my hardest to show him my love.

This is how I want it to be, just us, alone!

No outings of such.

Just me and him here, this is it.

I can feel his heart beating so fast, his chest against mine.

I wish I could stay like this forever, no one knowing, and no one to judge.

No faces of disgust!

I love him but I don't want to hurt him.

He is everything!

I could never live without him.

I love him...


End file.
